smashsfight:

Cystic Fibrosis Awareness Month is almost over, and so is Ashley’s Army <3 ’12 - I share all of my ups with everyone, so I might as well share my downs too. The past 48 hours have been absolute torture - mentally, emotionally, and physically. Why am I sharing this? So you know exactly what you’re helping me fight. So you realize, it’s not always wins. There are losses too. And so that you may always remember to count your Blessings over your problems. 

After a night of severe chest pain, and not being able to breathe, I finally gave in and called Hopkins yesterday. Mid-phone call, as I was holding my chest, I literally felt the left side of my chest, cave in beneath my fingers. By far, the scariest moment of my life. Thankfully, my amazing best friend was able to get to me, keep me calm, and ride in the ambulance with me. 

After nine frustrating hours of no answers, no relief, and teetering faith – they ruled out bleeding in the lungs, full lung collapse and another pulmonary embolism (phew), which were the three main, life threatening concerns. So today, after more tests, and more frustration, my diagnosis came. My plan is (in addition to all of my regular meds) 10 days on prednisone, three new antibiotics, and pain meds at home – and to come back to re-eval the area of collapse. But, if the pain doesn’t subside by Sunday, I have to get admitted. 

My personal goal of regaining lung function of 70% was temporarily defeated today. My lung function has dropped to an all time low…36%. I’m terrified of a transplant, but I’m confident that with my faith, family and friends, I will get better. Prayers, and kind words are always welcome, and needed. I’m pretty scared, upset, and definitely tired…but I’ve learned that, “When life says give up, hope whispers, try one more time!” So to CF, I can promise you right now; I’m not anywhere near giving up. This only motivates me to fight harder. I’ll take the good with the bad. And I will always, always, count my Blessings > problems. A fellow CF’er, 55 years old, just successfully received his double lung transplant…his admirable saying is…”You can not fail” ♥ 

So I leave you with this - Life is undeniably short. Pain and loss are inevitable. Bad things happen all the time. This is life. It’s unpredictable, and sometimes, the cards don’t pan out in our favor. But if all you ever look for, is the negative. Then that’s all you’ll ever see. So open your eyes, take time to appreciate the little things, say thank you for the things that you have, and stop asking for the things that you don’t. Hug your loved ones often, smile, and seriously…take time to ‘just breathe’  ♥ Love always, Ashley 

http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/AshleySilcott

whatsgoingon12:

If you’re not a stupid anon click here and enjoy